As if to break the fingers of my hand
Or the keys on which they pound,
I wrench a Koelling storm of notes
From the hapless piano.
Slamming out a bit of 1812,
Or Listz’ Hungarian Rhapsody
Instead of slamming doors
And breaking glass,
My fingers scream
My unspoken helpless rage.
“Yes,” I say when asked,
“Fortissimo is required –
See the double f’s?”
Pointing to where they are
Quite clearly marked.
The minutes pass,
While the neighbor’s windows shiver
From the tempest’s blast,
With errors,
(Not played with accuracy)
By fingers too angry to be true.
Till at last, a slightly lighter sound
As mezzoforte is found
And played as it is meant to be.
Then sheer force is abandoned
For the drama of the Harbanera,
The pulsing rhythm of an Ellmenrich,
A Ballade by Burgenmuller.
Softer, sweeter, slower notes sound
To ease the air
So savagely disturbed.
And then I, too, am subtly changed
The lightning flares fading from my eyes
In the way a lullaby woos a cranky child.
The desire to strike eases
Into a desire to please.
My heart once choked with thorns
And dark with rage
Has learned to sing again.
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